It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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