I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
