I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I did not marry a roomba.
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