Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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