btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
