Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
