I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
