If that was your dad, he is hot
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize