i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
