It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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