I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
