I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
