4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
