Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
