Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
