It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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