Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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