And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
