My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
