I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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