Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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