i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
