I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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