it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
