I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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