Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
