me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
