do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
