Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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