so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize