I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
