You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
