he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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