He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
