meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
