I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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