Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
