That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
