I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
