4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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