yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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