Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
