girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
