we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
