we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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