considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
