Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
