Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
