what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
