I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
