his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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