Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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