Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize