YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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