Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
