Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need moral support for this bender
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
there is glitter all over my balls
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
