she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
