So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
