So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
