That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
