I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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