He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
